2019-02-24 journal

Today was a much better day at work.  I was on my unit with people I am used to working with, and residents I have been building relationships with.  I was able to stop some behaviors before they happened  I was able to really connect deeper with one client who is an adoptee, but not a happy story.  I told her my story and she and I cried together over both of our stories and that it’s just not fair that sometimes you are just handed a crappy deal in life…. However, it’s not your fault, and it has indeed made you stronger.  She asked if she could have a more in depth talk next time I worked, I said of course.  This girl is the reason why I do this job.  Well… her, and the others that have come to me and asked me to talk.  I know I can help. This is why I want to be a therapist, do my hands aren’t tied, I’m not limited by what I can do. Soon I will be able to go back and finish.

So, I hate the quiet, the quiet always makes sad, it means bad things. Always has.  Day three  I no nini kisses, or I love yous before bed. No communication since before bed.. . It upsets me to the soul. I don’t know what is happening.  Don’t really know what else to say, except Goodnight and into the quiet I go for another night racket with bad dreams…

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