2019-01-22 journal

Long, crazy exhausting day at work.  Trying to learn my new job, trying to find thenins and outs, see where I can help,  How I can best serve my residents   Seeing a very flawed system and trying to find ways to help within the confines of that system.  It’s a bit overwhelming.  I saw many places where I could have helped today, but I’m still in training, so I just stood back, helped where I could and let those that could help the residents do so.  I did make a few connections with the residents, and one lit up when he saw me, but he’s not on my unit.  I tried to get over to see him, but I just could not leave my unit today.  I am studying their books, getting to know them, taking advice from the case managers and the good senior staff.  I don’t want to make the same mistakes I have previously.  I go live on Thursday  so wish me luck.

In other areas of my life, I’m going to for once in my life not over think, over analyze, over annoy myself by rationalizing every thought, word, move, etc. from anyone that says anything to me, towards me, or about me.  I’m just going to try and go back to my gypsy roots and go with the flow and feel and not think.  I can do it, it’s still in me.  Yes I have to be more responsible now, but I think that may be part of my problem lately is I have been thinking more than feeling.  I just need to stop overthinking.  It’s going against every fiber of my being, but maybe if I just fight it and get past thought initial thoughts then I’ll be just fine, and get back to the carefree princess we all know and love. Less thinking more twirling. Less obsessing and more feeling.  Less analyzing and more freeing!

Tommorow is a new day and it’s all going to be A. OK!

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